A teenager got into a disagreement with her pregnant sister-in-law that ended in tears after she made the decision to change her first name.
In a recent post on Reddit's Am I the A------? forum, the 17-year-old girl explained that her 30-year-old brother is married to a 29-year-old woman named Hailey, who is currently pregnant with their baby. Last year, the teen "officially" changed her name from Evelyn to Indie, a nickname form of her middle name. She said her parents sanctioned the decision.
"My parents gave in after realizing how serious I was about being Indie and how I was not warming up to or growing into Evelyn," the teen wrote.
However, the name change did not go over well with her sister-in-law Hailey, who plans to give her baby an "older/vintage" name.
"Hailey asked me about 5 months ago why I disliked Evelyn enough to change the name. At the time, she brought up how popular the name has become and how vintage is back," the teen continued. "I told her I didn't like vintage names and to me it sounded really old-fashioned. I told her the popularity didn't influence my decision."
"She wanted to know my reason for disliking older names and why I liked something like Indie instead," she added. "I didn't mind her asking this first time."
But the discussion didn't stop there. The teen said Hailey brought up the name change repeatedly and each time, she told her sister-in-law that her answer "wasn't going to change."
"By the seventh time she asked, she admitted she was worried her baby would hate having an older name and wanted to figure out what she could do to prevent what happened with me happening to her," the teen wrote in her post. "She also said she'd like me to rethink my name because she thought Evelyn was beautiful and she was sad I had chosen something like Indie over it."
Increasingly frustrated by the situation, the teen even asked her brother to intervene and get Hailey to stop bringing up the name change issue — but as she detailed, "I can easily say she has asked me this more than 25 times by now — I'm not exaggerating."
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When Hailey broached the subject yet again — telling her young sister-in-law that she "had made a mistake" and that her 30-year-old self "wouldn't be so against" the name Evelyn — the teen "kinda lost my temper," she recalled.
"I snapped and I told her to stop asking me the same question because my answer won't c -
hange and her comments are not changing my mind because I don't like old-fashioned names," she wrote. "I told her just like she hates Indie, I hate Evelyn, and she needs to let it go already."
The exchange ended with Hailey crying and the teen upsetting her other family members. "Hailey burst into tears and my brother got so mad at me. My parents were also like why did I have to speak to her so harshly," she concluded her post, inviting fellow Redditors to weigh in on whether she was in the wrong to make Hailey cry after she would not drop the issue of the name change.
The teen's post garnered more than 2,500 comments, with many people taking the 17-year-old's side in the disagreement. Quite a few Redditors argued that Hailey "disrespected" her sister-in-law's identity.
"If someone continues to question your identity, and they don't accept you for who you are, and if they ignore your explanation and request to move on....they are bullies and discriminatory," one person wrote.
"She refused to accept your initial answer, harassed you for months, disrespected your identity and disrespected the way your parents have raised you, to be independent and true to yourself and your identity," another person chimed in.
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Yet another commenter added, "Her behavior is really weird. Why ask repeatedly? And what’s it to her whether you choose to use Evelyn or Indie? It has nothing to do with her or her baby. I don’t understand why she’s so obsessed with your name."
Others praised the teen for showing remarkable patience and sympathized with her finally reaching her limit and losing her temper with her sister-in-law.
"You were immensely patient for putting up with it for as long as you did, and your outburst is completely understandable. Sure, you could have been less aggressive in your final response, but she also could have stopped asking the same question 20+ times ago," someone wrote.
"You have repeatedly communicated your reasons for changing your name and have asked Hailey to stop questioning you. Your feelings and decisions regarding your name should be respected, and her persistence in bringing it up crossed a boundary," added another.
Yet another person agreed: "You have every right to feel what you feel and be called what you wanna be called."
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